Eva’s 37 weeks now and ripe for the world.

One of our “classmates” from the birthing class has already given birth – to a boy and three weeks before her due date (just a few days after we last saw her). I’m so hoping that Eva here does us proud by showing up soon…

Alors, ma petite, c’est maintenant!
So, my little one, it’s now!

My biggest purchase so far – well, this and the stroller.

Since I got pregnant, I had automatically assume that I would be breastfeeding exclusively for the first few months. No question about it. But I also realize that after some time, Eva would be slowly weaned off and I would need a pump and such for those occasion. In Switzerland, you can rent breast pumps but since we’re planning on have a couple of kids, I thought it to be an investment if I purchased one instead. Turned out to be a good idea since we later discovered that we would be moving to Singapore.

After talking to the midwife and plenty of experienced breastfeeding mums, I finally decided to take the plunge and buy an electric breast pump which would allow me to use either direct current, battery pack or go manually. Avent was the natural choice because I had already a few bottles from the same company and didn’t want the hassle of converting or reselling those bottles.

So the next task began – comparisons and such. I had to weigh in prices from Malaysia, Singapore, France and naturally Switzerland before comparing my narrowed down choices to online stores here in Switzerland. The trouble with buying anything abroad although it may be cheaper is that if it costs more than 65 CHF, I get slapped with a customs tax as well as admin charges which I felt wasn’t worth the aggravation. I finally came across a store offering the right price tag (199 CHF including shipping and all) and after doing some conversion, happily discovered that it was not just cheaper than buying from Swiss stores but also cheaper compared to getting the item itself in Singapore or Malaysia.

I went ahead, placed the order, paid and patiently waited for the item to arrive, which it did with a nice travel bag topped off with the usual:

• Battery pack (1 pc)
• Bottle stand/funnel cover (2 pc)
• Breast milk container (125 ml / 4 oz) (1 pc)
• Breast milk container (260 ml / 9 oz) (1 pc)
• Sealing discs and screw rings (2 pcs)
• Cool pack (2 pcs)
• Extra soft, Newborn Flow Nipple (2 pcs)
• ISIS iQ UNO Electronic Breast Pump (1 pc)
• Microfiber travel bag (1 pc)
• Power cord (1 pc)
• Spare parts (1 pc)
• Manual parts (1 pc)

So yes, one less thing to worry about now when it comes to breastfeeding! Ahhh, happiness!

Updated and pushed from April 2008 to June 2009.

A very open and candid letter.

It’s nothing personal really; since the move has been official, I have been on the receiving end of many unsolicited advice – or rather well-meaning unsolicited advice – and not being able to get the message across. While I understand that people will always talk, I guess I just want to share the reasons behind “our” decision and why it’s important to Nil and I as a family unit.

…

Dear friend/family member/stranger/etc,

Thank you for your concern and care regarding my family life and situation. I find it complimentary to a degree that you find it important for me to build a career in your suggested field but I must be honest. I’m choosing to be a stay/work-at-home mum first and nothing you say will change that decision. Please read on to understand that this is a decision that has been made with careful deliberation and done not because I’m lazy or too pampered to go out into the working world.

Gone are the days when I can decide according to my whim and fancy what to do with my life. There is the husband to keep in mind and not to mention the child’s needs. Being married with children does put a damper on things, not that I’m complaining. I did choose this life of mine and a long time ago, even before I got married, I chose family over a career. Oh, don’t mistake this to be the decision of a wannabe lady of leisure, or of the bored housewife who sees no point in being independent or in touch with the world. Au contraire, I aim to be just as independent and in touch with the world as any other full-time working mother out there.

I just chose a different route than my other peers.

I don’t mean to belittle or put down their decisions. I understand that for a lot of working mothers, theirs is a decision that is hard to make – it is not easy leaving your baby with a sitter and going back to the working world, sacrificing whatever precious time you may have with your child, missing out on those momentous moments and so forth. For some, it is because they need the money. For others, it is because they desire to continue to be working individuals.

Now I didn’t come to this decision at a whim or on my own. Being a wife means that I never make decisions alone. As such, Nil is as much a part of this as I am and we have put a lot of thought into the matter. We both feel that Eva’s first two years are crucial and that she should spend it around her parents and not anyone else like grandparents or a caregiver. Should the need ever arise for me to return back to a full-time job, it has been agreed upon that I would do so willingly. We have back-up plans for that and such.

The reasons that you give – “no choice”, “better than sitting at home and doing nothing”, “waste of high education” and so forth – are, well, they don’t mean anything to me because they aren’t real to me. People always base their suggestions on “no choice” but they forget that in life, there are choices in everything. It is just a question of whether you like them or not.

The expectations people have of stay/work-at-home mothers and housewives varies from country to country. In Europe, no one questions my decision to be a stay/work-at-home mum because of a variety of reasons – one of them being which this: it is the personal decision of the couple, caring for your child is considered a positive contribution to society, and people just don’t have the right to judge or say otherwise. In Asia, however, many (not all) still see the stay/work-at-home mum as a dependent, incapable of contributing positively to society, of being unable to multitask, of just being…unproductive (do read on)…

The whole idea that a stay/work-at home mum being a person who “sits at home and does nothing” is very untrue. People who think that have no idea what it is like to be a full-time mother let alone a housewife. I have shared with many people before about the kind of life I lead as a so-called lady of leisure. It is hardly leisurely and yet, despite all that I have shared, people still think that what I do every day (cook, clean, sew, knit, spin, running errands, etc) amounts to little just because I don’t get a pay cheque every end of the month. To them, that is not multitasking because multitasking means juggling a job, husband, children and managing a household…short of being a superwoman, that is.

And talking about multitasking, let me share a quote with you from this site called Busy Mommy about being a stay-at-home mother:

Being a mom is a busy job but there is no other job in the world that can compare with watching your children learn and grow. Stay at home mothers wear many hats. They are a chef, housekeeper, daycare provider, financial manager, home organizer, entertainment coordinator, educational consultant, health care provider, playmate, friend, companion, and much much more.

Now, my decision to be a stay/work-at-home mum means that I am the following to both my child and husband – bear in mind that these include the things I do for my business as well – throughout the day which means this is a 24/7 job that I cannot quit:

1. Chef
2. Housekeeper (cleaner, laundry maid, dustmaid, dishwasher, etc)
3. Daycare provider
4. Home organizer
5. Entertainer
6. Educational consultant
7. Health care provider
8. Playmate
9. Friend
10. Companion
11. Counsellor
12. Shop owner
13. PR, sales & marketing director
14. Editor and writer
15. Production director
16. Creative director
17. Hired labourer (packing, washing, etc)
18. Errand boy
19. Gardener
20. Crisis manager
21. …and many more…

Does anyone still think that I sit at home, do nothing and am not multitasking?

To end, let me leave you with some food for thought from this article

“When did being a mom go from the most valued position in society to something you do if you are too lazy or pampered to go to work?”

The final class!!!

We talked mostly about post-partum things like diet, changes to lifestyle, baby-related care and finally breastfeeding.

Here are some tips/advice/new stuff:

1. It is perfectly normal for babies to lose some weight in the first two weeks due to things like bowel movement, small quantities of breast milk and so forth. Nothing worrisome as baby would have spent the last trimester putting on enough fat to survive the first weeks. Mummies and caregivers like the in-laws should NOT take this as a sign that they are not feeding the baby enough. As long as babies go through a number of diaper changes each day, there is no need to worry.
2. Breast milk can take a few days to come in and until it does, colostrum is all the baby needs. Remember that newborns have small tummies and don’t need to eat a lot in one sitting. Instead, they feed frequently but in small quantities. DO NOT rush out and start supplementing baby’s diet with formula or feed via the bottle as this may result in nipple confusion.
3. Breast milk production depends on two things – demand and diet. The more frequently the baby feeds, the better it is as well as water intake is crucial. Mummies who intend on breastfeeding need to consume heaps of water throughout the day. One tip we got was to place a large glass of water (500ml) next to you and consume it after every feed.
4. Babies need Vit K for blood clotting purposes and Vit D to bind calcium in the first few days/months. These two vitamins cannot be produced in breast milk and thus need to be provided as supplements. In Northern Hemisphere countries especially during winter, it can be difficult to obtain Vit D via sunlight. If you’re in “sun-filled” countries like the tropics, babies can be sun (by the window) for a few minutes each day but take care to apply some form of sunscreen as to not burn baby’s delicate skin.
5. It is normal for baby to feed every two hours or so. Sometimes it’s for food, sometimes it’s for comfort sucking. It’s important for mums to NOT skip feeding or create their own schedule because it can lead to engorgement, blocked milk ducts, breast infection and also lower breast milk production. Breast milk is created upon demand and the more often the baby feeds, especially at night, the more milk the body will produce.
6. No blankets, pillows and all that when baby sleeps at night to avoid SIDS and baby needs to be kept cool. A too-warm baby increases the risk of SIDS because the baby may go into deep sleep, get SIDS and not wake up. Ideal ambient temp for babies is anywhere from 20 to 24° so just a long sleeved top and pants with booties will do for nights.
7. To avoid diaper rash, babies should be dried and bums sunned frequently plus no powders. Bums should be aired naked as often as possible in between diaper changes. For baby girls, the use of powders increases the risks of vagina infections. Diaper rash creams are better.
8. Babies up to six months do not need to be feed water – it’s dangerous and besides, breast milk is already made up of 88% water. Also, babies should be feed breast milk exclusively for the first six months for health reasons. Breast milk contains the mother’s natural antibodies and these are passed onto the baby during breastfeeding.
9. Mummy’s diet is important – mummies need to take in a lot of water, avoid alcohol and any other types of food that may cause allergies or colic in babies or worsen things like jaundice. If the baby is colicky from eating things like ginger, turmeric or whatever herbs, then mummy may have to stop or find an alternative strategy. Those preparing confinement dishes need to be aware that less salt and less oil is better. Also, mummies need to take in plenty of fruits and vegetables to help with bowel movement (constipation is not good because it further strains the perineum muscles).

Miao
Pattern | Amineko Crocheted Cat by Nekoyama
Yarn | Coop Maxima in Pale Yellow
Needles | 3.5mm crochet hook

Yes, this is another toy I knitted up while watching Murder, She Wrote seasons 3 and 4 as well as looking up info on all sorts of things, eg nursing bras, breast pumps and such. (It’s interesting how there are such things as attorneys specialising in motorcycle accidents…we definitely more of those back in Malaysia!!!).

Anyway, this is what people would call an amigurumi toy – a Japanese art of knitting or crocheting small creatures or items like plants and such. It’s usually made up of a few pieces which are stuffed separately and then joined together by handstitching the parts together. In Miao’s case, I had to make two arms, two legs, one tail, one torso, the head, two ears and the piece for the mouth. Looking at the list, it may seem tedious but it is quick and almost mindless work during to the nature of how it is crochet – spiral.

Instead of plastic pellets to give it some weight in the arms, legs and torse, I settled on filling instead to make it squishable. And yes, as you can see, I even gave Miao an attitude to boot! Now to see if Eva will like it…

** Cross-posted on the main blog **

The Grey Whale
Pattern | Sludgie the Whale by Carrie Melago
Yarn | Coop Maxima in Grey
Needles | 3.5mm crochet hook

Since I’ve been waiting for a while to get some dye-fixer solution in the mail (thus resulting in a halt in my sewing), I wanted to work on something while I catch up on Murder, She Wrote (Season 3). I just can’t stand not doing something with my fingers while I’m watching something. It’s been a habit of mine for the past one or two years – so I thought, why not work on a toy? It’s fast and well, hardly complicated. And we do need a toy or two to keep Eva occupied while she’s in the crib/bassinet and such.

I had read that babies have not much colour sense in the first six months and thus are attracted only to contrast – black & white plus solid patterns like stripes, circles and so forth. So I thought why not crochet up a toy in some grey yarn that I have lying around? Hence the birth of The Grey Whale as seen in pics above and below. I made some changes, choosing to omit the removable water spout and replacing the plastic eyes with embroidered eyes instead for safety purposes. The stuffing is leftover polyfill which I had used in my previous toy project.

While the original whale looks a little bit more happy with a smile and softer, I like my toys firmer and squishable – hence why the “stiff” and morose look. Still, Nil thinks it’s quite cute and personally, for me, it’ll do as a simple toy. I have a couple more toys queued up in my projects list over on Ravelry and I might be just tempted to do a “soft” one like a bear or something. We’ll see how it goes…

** Cross-posted on the main blog **